Surrendering Our Control to God’s Control

I have always been, to some extent, the type of person who takes pride in my level of self-control. I was the child who punished myself after doing something wrong. If I messed up, I would break down and immediately confess to it. Even before I knew Christ, I had strong morals. Controlling my emotions in or reactions to certain situations was important to me. I did not necessarily have an identifiable reason for it. It has always been just a part of who I am.

When it comes to submitting to the Lord and giving up my own control over a situation, sometimes I have gotten it right and sometimes I have gotten it terribly wrong. God has done a lot of work in me which now allows me to willingly surrender my control to His control.

When dealing with self-control, it is important to recognize or acknowledge what we believe we can control versus what we can control. Quite simply, we must come to an understanding that the only thing we can really control is our response or reaction to what goes on around us. In most cases, we cannot control the situation itself. We demonstrate that we have self-control when we recognize what our particular responsibility is in a situation and we do not attempt to take on more than our responsibility. I have often confused self-control with my mortal attempts at being sovereign in a situation (aka playing God).

I have also confused willpower for self-control. For example, if I resisted eating a half dozen doughnuts when offered, in the moment, I am using my willpower. However, self-control is about more than just setting temporary regulations on yourself in certain situations. Self-control is displayed when you have the discipline to never eat even one donut in any given situation whether someone is looking or not.

So, what about self-control in a spiritual sense? Having self-control that comes from the Spirit of God is manifested when we display consistent control over our pesky flesh nature and resist sinning. Just as God is a triune being (three persons in one), we are also triune beings. We have a spirit that wants to do the will of God, things that are pure and true. We have a soul that waits in a neutral position but can lean its allegiance either to our spirit or our flesh at any given moment. Then there is our flesh, which can be easily manipulated by the enemy and/or tie us to the world around us. The spiritual battle that is necessary to produce the type of godly self-control we need is difficult at times and we can find ourselves going from one extreme to the next as we grow in this area. Let’s face it, it can be downright exhausting!

Surrendering our controlling nature to God’s control is about trusting Him for the outcome. In our humanity, however, we have made trusting Him a hard thing to do. Sometimes we lie to ourselves and make ourselves believe that we are trusting in the Lord when we are not. This becomes apparent when you have a week like the one I just had where chaos takes over, you lose all control, and you are left knowing that God is the only one who could possibly be in control of the situation.

In those moments, God has a loving way of putting you in your place so that you are forced to sit down and surrender control back to Him. Usually it is a place where all your perfect earthly pieces have shattered. Yet God, through His fiery Spirit, can come into the situation, reform and reshape it, and bring something new out of it.

Though we are all a work in progress, sometimes I think I am ahead in certain areas more than I am. Surrendering control is one of those areas. Just this past week, I struggled internally while trying to gain control in a chaotic situation. Although I knew in my mind that I was turning mole hills into mountains, it was difficult to settle in my spirit who was really in control –me or God. However, God has allowed me at times to see myself struggling and how out of control situations affect me. Typically, there is frustration, aggravation, anger, rage, and then for good measure, some tears.

For example, in the chaos of life, I will try to exert my own power over things I believe I am in control of to an extreme –like simply cleaning the house. Sometimes when I start to clean the house, I end up overdoing it, fooling myself into believing that if I can get it clean enough that somehow it will make me cleaner inside too. Another way that I misuse control is by holding in my feelings to a point that I am about to explode in anger. When that happens, I know I am out of balance.

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. James 1:19-20 NLT

Let me give one more example. The other morning at work, I was feeling bright-eyed and bushy tailed. I was also feeling high off of worship music. At the end of helping a customer with a transaction, she spoke a word into my life. She said: “Wow, you really have a gift for explaining things and your voice is so calming and knowledgeable. Have you ever thought about working with companies to train their employees or just speaking to people in general?”

It was a lot to take in, but she graciously made a point to let me know that my professionalism and articulation of things is a gift. But then, throughout the day, one thing after another happened and I begin to feel out of control and my joy begin slipping away. Instead of controlling the thoughts running through my head, I begin replaying certain circumstances over and over. By the end of the day, I felt robbed of my peace. I let my feelings get out of control instead of having self-control over them. If the same woman had of spoken to me at the end of the day, I highly doubt I would have caught the significance of her words. And worse yet, how many times did I let my lack of self-control over my emotions destroy my witness in front of people that day.

Self-control is probably the most vital and most tested fruit of the Spirit. I believe it affects all the other fruits of the Spirit in a significant way.

It is also the most vital when we look at the Great Commission, or our witness to the world (Matthew 28:16-20). The Great Commission is not just for pastors and church leaders, but for everyone called by the name of Jesus to be a witness. When we are not intentional about embodying spiritual self-control, we risk compromising our witness to the world. We miss opportunities to witness to others when we let our flesh overpower our spirit.

Our enemy, the devil, understands our battle with self-control and surrendering our control to God’s control all too well. It is in our moments of weakness that he attacks. Oh, he knows not to attack us on Sundays when we stand in the presence of God surrounded by other believers. No, he will wait until a Monday morning when our guard is down. Or maybe he will wait until our patience is low and we are waiting at the gas station behind a line of other people or in the grocery store when the clerk is having trouble processing our transaction while six people are standing in line behind us! Remember, the devil wants you to lose your self-control in front of the world. Do not be an agent for him. Surrender your control to God’s control and watch how the tables turn.

Prayer: Abba Father, Eternal one, my Redeemer, do not let our witness be robbed by our lack of self-control, especially in our interactions with others. Teach us to remember that without Your spirit controlling us, we will always lack true self-control and will be unable to successfully walk with temperance. I pray that You strengthen each woman’s heart, increasing the level of spiritual self-control she needs so that she can walk in the promises You have for her. I pray, as Your daughters, that we always seek Your heart and Your direction, allowing the Holy Spirit to walk with us. May the Holy Spirit come in and supersede our control when it is needed so that we do not stand in the way of who You are and what You would accomplish through us. In Jesus’ name. Amen, amen, and amen.

Katrina